okay so first of all i'm sorry for cancelling our tour. just to clear everything up the whole thing is cancelled even the l.a dates but circa and emanuel are still doing a tour without us. circa and emanuel are both sucessful and amazing bands so they will continue the tour on their own with no prob.
basically i lost my mind again, and when i say that i lost my mind i dont mean i had depression or anxiety but that i had full on paranoid delusions which could have really screwed me up if i didn't get to the mental hosp in good time. i could have ended up dead. this is not an excuse because i know how shitty it feels to have a band you love cancel a show but if you really love us, you love the fact that i'mkind of a fucking lunatic and that even though this may have hindered your plans to see us headline this year, it means nothing in the long term because i'm gonna come back and rock your ass so hard this fall with saves the day senses fail and the early november and with another headlining tour next year....so hard you wont even know what's coming to you. you will know how much i love those who appreciate me and my music and have the patience to understand me. if you dont, if we are just some fad that you would give up on because we canceled shows, then you can s my d and die. if you are bummed on me but you still believe, i promise to make it up to you by putting even more of myself into the music and our live show. the more you trust me the more i trust you. i am all about me and you. its about both of us. its about giving and taking. i know i have done a good amount of taking (your time, your money, your patience) and not had the oppurtunity to give but all i want is to give myself to you guys at this point because the support you've given me is beyond belief. guess what though, i don't think i'm shitty anymore either. i dont think anything about shows are scummy or crummy, they are the beginnings of something truly overwhelming. something awesome. believe we can topple the machine. you and i are the reasons why i do this. i am not fucking with you. this is a revolution. it needs to be real and i need to be mentally prepared.
i am writing new songs too. i have changed as a person because i have found inner confidence and fallen in love. the next record will be one about the triumph of humanity instead of its corruption. its picking up where it admit it left off. its the sequel motherfuckers and its going to be rock and and roll music. its going to be the same honesty but its not going to be about redundancy. its going to be about breaking the mold.
people have freaked out about me posting that i am full on gay. this is not cool. i am even gayer that i am taking the time to explain this statement. i dont deny that i am fully gay if gay is what i and what many people say it is, which is open to the idea of spending my life with a dude especially if my exceptionally beautiful girlfriend breaks my heart one day, which i am faithful that she won't. however i think dudes can be hot too, so fuck you if you dont get me. for all i know if i we break up i'll be doing horses and camels. i dont give a fuck all i know is i am all about this woman. peep my aol icon and guess what you cant have her.
i am not a 'rock star'. i am not a self serving brat. i DO appreciate what i have and i am trying my hardest to be independent. i feel like a butterfly. i feel like a new chapter to your favourite book. i love those who love me. if you dont have love for me, if you are a HATER then BEGONE. I am too busy now for you. i am beyond doubting my soul. i will continue to be awkward and neurotic and "corny". to me corniness translates to romanticism. i think love is overwhelming and deserves the ultimate respect, over anything. a good friend once said to me "love or death.". i BELIEVE. i dont give a fuck. the people who truly love me LOVE that.
i am here for you on aol. my screename is sayanythingmax but i cannot answer most of the ims because they come too fast but chances are if you stick with it you will get a response from me at some point. i dont ignore people on purpose unless i have to nor do i judge anyone. dont be an idiot. i am grateful any of you guys have the balls to im me at all. try to overcome your doubt. believe you are beautiful. look at yourself through someone elses green eyes. believe someone out there will find you and kiss your skin until you can feel it blister with the heat. believe in something bigger than your problems and you will be saved. look up at the beautiful "melon sky". it will answer all your questions. it will unite us against the machine. my best friend taught me the best way to battle the machine is to ignore it. ignore the obnoxious hipsters. ignore those who will put you in a box because of what country you were spat out of. ignore the judgemental indie rockers. ignore the trenchoat mafia. ignore the right wing fanatics. ignore anyone who rubs you the wrong way. ignore me if you need to but dont ignore love. its what i am fighting for.
big news to come later this week. stay tuned.
max
p.s i am not anakin. we are the anakin generation.